The Bachelors of HHS

Editor’s note: Clarion Staff Writers Sarah Ahmad and Marjes Castillo went around Hawthorne High School interviewing the following students: Jason Diaz, Rocco Pecoraro, Daniel Sweetman, and Jalen Palmer. These specific students all responded to these questions very honestly and earnestly. The staff writers were beyond speechless at the students very professional responses.

Clarion: Would you rather be smart and ugly or dumb and beautiful?

Daniel Sweetman: I would rather be dumb and beautiful because with my good looks I would be able to get any girl I wanted. She would have to be smart and have a good job, since I would be working part time at McDonald’s.

Jalen Palmer:I would rather be dumb and beautiful because I already am.

Rocco Pecoraro: Well, intelligence is beauty in my eyes so I could never be ugly.

Jason Diaz: I would rather be smart and ugly because the academics always get the ladies.

Clarion: How would you describe yourself?

Daniel Sweetman: I’m a super hot, fun loving guy. I get at least two girls a day coming to me and asking for my number. I have a very laid back personality. School is not my strong suit and the only reason I go is because McDonalds requires a High School Diploma. Other than that, I’m a pretty solid guy. I’m looking for love and companionship.

Jalen Palmer: I would describe myself as an athletic young man with a love of food and taking other people’s girls.

Rocco Pecoraro: Almost perfect.

Jason Diaz: I would describe myself as a chick magnet and I resemble Neymar Jr.

Clarion: What are your life and career goals in five or ten years?

Daniel Sweetman: Some of my life goals include getting married, traveling the world, and going skydiving. I don’t intend to have any kids because like my mother always said, “You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut-up.”

Jalen Palmer: I already know I’m getting drafted into the NFL and NBA senior year.

Rocco Pecoraro: My life career goals in five or ten years is to be famous.

Jason Diaz: My life career would be to start my own llama farm and my goal would be to have my llamas be named the top rated ones in the country.

Clarion: What is your biggest fear?

Daniel Sweetman: My biggest life fear is being attacked by a dark shady figure that follows me everywhere. Most of the time I struggle to see him, but then I walk outside into the sunlight and there he is. I mean he hasn’t done anything in the past fifteen years but I don’t trust him.

Jalen Palmer: My biggest fear is death. It just scares me to think what happens after death.

Rocco Pecoraro: My biggest fear is to not be famous.

Jason Diaz: One of my biggest fears would have to be my hairline not being on “fleek”.

Clarion: Would you rather have money or love?

Daniel Sweetman: I would rather have money than love. With money it would be easy to find a wife. People say money can’t buy love, but with a million dollars, I don’t see myself being lonely for long.

Jalen Palmer: I would rather have money because I already got the girls.

Rocco Pecoraro: Well I love money so that will do.

Jason Diaz: I would rather have money because my lady friends would have to have the most expensive stuff.

Disclaimer: The students’ responses are not meant to be taken seriously. They all responded in a humorous and sarcastic manner for entertainment purposes only.