The Boys Bathrooms Re-Open…Kind Of…

Jack Farnum-Huelster, Staff Writer

Boys of HHS, rejoice! The bathrooms have reopened!

For over a week two of the boy’s bathrooms were out of order, leading to the cataclysmic event senior HHS historians now refer to as “The Boy’s Bathroom Famine of 2019.” It was during this time that all male students in the school only had proper access to one of three boy’s bathrooms, leading to severe overcrowding issues that made simply doing your business a pain in the butt, no pun intended.

There were only two urinals and two toilet stalls for the entire male student body made up of hundreds! The severity of the famine was also compounded by the fact that depending on where one’s classes in the building are, a simple trip to the bathroom became a grueling journey across the entire school.

Tragic as it was though, this crisis is behind us now – no more than a small footnote in the history of HHS that will quickly be repressed in our memories as once again we have unregulated access to all boy’s bathrooms.

But we must learn from the past, for if we don’t we are doomed to repeat it. One must remember the bathrooms were closed off in the first place because of us boys and our actions. I do not mean to incriminate all boys in the school, obviously, but as a whole it was OUR shenanigans that resulted in the bathrooms needing to be closed off in the first place.

Update: Aaaaaaaaaaaand one of the bathrooms is closed again.

Yes, painful as it is for me to say, the 2nd floor boy’s bathroom has been once again declared “Out of Order” and closed off like a murder crime scene. What happened this time?